special favor

hahaha..excited na ako... :))

irish, ung date naten sa 30 ha?! miss n kita!!!

marvin,mark,mc...uhmm...pupunta aq jan nxt wik...friday ok lng???bka may exam p kc kau eh...hahaha...miss ko n kau at ang mga kalokohan nten...

may nakalimutan p pla ako...
ehem...
at the end of the day, sana naman batiin mo q...
kung cno k man...
bwahaha...
para nmn may thrill db?!
guyz, agree???
hahahaa...


i love you everyone!!!! ♥♥♥

s.o.s.

Ako’y abutin, ‘pagka’t ako’y nakabitin

Sa isang bangin na pagkalalim-lalim

Nanginginig, natatakot, sa baba’y ‘di makatingin

Daing ko’y dinggin, at ako’y iyong sagipin.

Sa tabi’y may orkidyas, matatag na nakakapit

Nais ko sanang kunin, nang sa pag-aho’y may bitbit

Ngunit hindi ko na kaya kung may iba pang sukbit

Hayaan na ito, mabuhay nawa ng marikit!

Bilisan mo na’t ako’y nangangalay

Kunin mo na bago pa bumigay

Kanina pa lupaypay ang pusong naghihintay

Sa ‘yo ba’y buhay ko’y wala ng saysay?

chimera

Paano ba magtatagpo ang mga pusong nagkalayo

Kung sa simula’t simula pa’y wala namang tayo?

Oo’t minsang nagkalapit, ngunit hindi naging isa;

Halika’t sabihin mo, sapagkat ako’y lito na.

Paano ba maibibigay ang puso ko sa ‘yo

Kung matagal mo na nga itong inangkin ng buo?

Ang iyo nama’y ipinagkatiwala na sa iba;

Ako’y ‘di naalala, at sa ‘ki’y walang natira.

Paano ba sasabihin na ika’y sa akin lamang

At ako’y iyo rin ng walang pag-aalinlangan,

Kung sa paligid nati’y marami namang humahadlang

At ang pag-ibig nati’y wala ring patutunguhan?

Ah! Isang kahibangan pala ang aking iniisip;

‘Di ba, walang ‘tayo’ at walang ‘pag-ibig natin’?

Isang ilusyon na ako lang naman ang nagnanais,

Gisingin mo na ako sa aking pagkakahimbing.

tweak

Once, a girl was asked by his father to buy some food for their dinner. As she walked along the streets, things keep stirring up her mind. She's as pale as the blue moon with her flaunting hair as dark as the night sky. She looks very ordinary by wearing a black shirt and pants. The most noticeable feature of hers was her eyes with dark circles as if she hasn't slept for days but it glows with cheerfulness. She wears a thin smile as she watched the speeding cars of the city.

All of a sudden, there was something that made her remember all the memories from her past. It's like a chant that was formed a long time ago but has never been uttered, an incantation that has never been recited. And now the time has come for her to reveal all her hidden emotions, to unravel the mysteries from her past. The sullenness of her life was bound by a spell she made herself so as to forget every little thing that breaks her heart. An unfathomable force had just broken that spell, and she experienced nostalgia. It happened so fast causing her bewilderment. In her mind, the blurred visions moving in a heavy, billowing motion like that of great waves became vivid. Amidst perplexity, she recognized that feeling as if she was about to die. She thought that it would be the end, her end, but it's just the beginning of her search for existence. Real existence.

The lights were green before she knew it. She crossed the pedestrian lane in a hurry. As she continues to walk on the other side of the road, the wind blew. It chilled her. Even the slightest gust of wind would do. Nothing unusual. Then, her memories started haunting her. Again. She can't do anything. She did no more struggling. She let those images be played on her mind like a video being played and watched by her alone.

In her vision, she saw a little girl. That girl seems very familiar to her. The little girl was in the center of the crowd with all eyes on her. She's startled for a moment; she doesn't know what to do. There was a surge of mixed emotions: fear, anxiety, self-pity, anger, confusion. Everybody's making fun of her, and the mob has sly looks on their faces. Afterwards, she saw how that little girl changes as she grows older. That innocent-looking girl learns to fight. The cause of her misery became her strongest point. She has developed the courage to accept those inhumane prejudices on her physical appearance. She has developed the patience to let others judge her cruelly and forgive them. She learned all these things by accepting her flaws. She's nowhere near being an ordinary girl she used to be. Maybe, it'll take a long time for her to be one. Then stop. The 'video' is over. That's all. That showed the gist of the bitter part of her life.

She has come to her senses. It's as if she was awakened from her nightmare. So disgusting. Very horrible. But come to think of it, how can a helpless girl survived on that kind of society that was so harsh? How can she fool others by pretending she's not affected at all? How can she make them believe that she's happy when the truth is she's miserable? How can she do all those things? Miracle? No. Magic? Maybe. Survival? Probably yes. Even she isn't sure about the real thing behind her struggles. Her questions were answered by another set of questions. This will go on and on, as if it'll never end. But there's an ending for everything. There must be.

The Ugly Duckling. Oh, she remembered that story. That was her favorite. Maybe she can see herself on the ugly duckling. Yes, she has always believed in that story. She has always loved it. She keeps on believing in the story for she herself is an ugly duckling. She was the ugly duckling that was condemned by everybody. She was the ugly duckling that has experienced enough of those hardships. She was the ugly duckling who hopes to be a beautiful swan someday. She's still hoping that someday, somehow, she can turn into a lovely lady like her mother. How can she be one? How long would she be waiting? Will it be forever? She has no clues on her mind. All she can do is to be patient. Grow up girl! Grow up! You need to! Be strong, be brave! Don't lose hope. God is with you, remember? He'll always be. Trust Him!

She had reached the grocery. She bought food and walked away. She's going home. As she looked up into the sky, she was filled with hope. Her hopes were as many as the little stars and yet they're as bright as the full moon. Now, she had realized something and that realization is a big spark on her life. Never would she be bitter about herself. Never would she falter in what she believes or lose faith in her dreams. Never would she be ashamed of her life because it's never empty. Never again.

Now, this story is to be ended like a book to be closed but before that, let me tell you one thing. The girl in the story is none other than me. Yes, it's me. I'm the ugly duckling that was ruined by my own imperfections but I believe that someday, my life will change. How I wish to be a beautiful swan so that someday, I'll spread my wings and learn how to fly. I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky. I have to take a risk, take my chance, make a change, and breakaway.

peter out

Feelings are ephemeral. Nothing lasts. We need to accept the fact that the only thing that is constant is change. Kaya naman nung banas na banas na ako, puro tama na lang ang nasusulat ko. Pati punctuation marks, nakalimutan ko ng ilagay. Wala akong pakialam kahit sabihin niyo pa na walang kwenta ‘to. Kaya pwede ba, tama na…

Tama Na

Ang tagal ko nang nasasaktan

Kaya ngayo'y nais kitang limutin

Ang pag-asa ko ay nasaan

Wala naman kaya isip na ang susundin

Bakit ba ako'y gulong-gulo

Na para bang ako ay nahihilo

Hindi ko naman magawang tumahimik

Ngunit ako'y wala pa ring imik

Tama na

Hindi ko na kakayanin pa

Tama na, tigilan na

Ako'y nagsasawa na

At kahit na anong aking gawin

Ika'y patuloy pa ring mamahalin

Abot langit ang aking dalangin

Na pag-ibig ko sana'y damhin

Pero ngayo'y wala na

Puso ko ay manhid na

Hindi mo na mababago pa

Ang katotohanan na tapos na

Tama na

Hindi ko na kakayanin pa

Tama na, tigilan na

Paalam na…

raison d'être

Bakit ba ako nabuhay sa mundong ito? Ito na naman ang dakilang tanong na bumabagabag sa akin. Ewan ko ba, pero kapag trip kong magnilay-nilay, magbulay-bulay, in short, mag-isip-isip ng kung anu-anong mga bagay-bagay, ito talaga ang pumapailanlang sa alapaap na para bang kabuteng bigla na lang sumulpot at pinitas para ipangsahog sa ulam. Miski sa pagsusulat ko, parang ito lang talaga ang tanong na hindi ko masagot-sagot. Eto talaga ang masayang gawin, ang sagutin ang tanong na wala namang kasagutan. Ang saya, ‘di ba?

Sabi nga nila, lahat tayo ay may mahalagang misyon na dapat gawin kaya kapag namatay ka na, ibig sabihin, tapos mo na ang misyon mo. Eh ang tanong, ano ba ang misyon ko sa mundong ito? Malamang hindi ko alam. Kasi kung alam ko, eh ‘di sana hindi na ako nagtatanong. Ohaah! Ohaah!

Wala namang tiyak na kagula-gulantang na kasagutan sa tanong kong ito. Alam ko meron din namang iba diyan na ganito din ang tinatanong at sinasabi nila sa sarili nila. Ano pa man ang purpose of my existence in this infinite universe, saka ko palang iyan malalaman. Hindi naman ako diyos para sabihin sa lahat na kaya ako nabubuhay ay dahil sa chenez chuva eklavu whatever. Saka ko na lang muna siguro iisipin ito.

*The search for the true meaning of one’s existence is a lifetime journey. We may not know it today, or tomorrow, but there will come a time that we’ll realize that we’ve done our part in accordance to God’s will.

et cetera

Ang metaphor daw ang nagpapabago sa perception ng mundo, batay sa Comm1 class namin. Oo nga naman. It is true that metaphor makes common and ordinary things look unusual and unfamiliar. Ang galing, ‘di ba? Nagiging creative ang mga expressions natin kapag gumagamit tayo ng figurative language. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ko napasok ang topic na ito. Kapag sinabi kong wala lang, grabe, parang napakawalang kwenta ko namang tao. Ito siguro ang nagagawa ng literature sa buhay ko. Adiktus kasi ako sa pagbabasa at pagsusulat ng kung anu-ano. Nasa DNA ko yata ang pagiging isang booklover, kaya nga siguro naging Vice President ako ng Booklovers’ Club sa school nung fourth year ako. Mayroon nga tayong kasabihan na, “Booklovers never go to bed alone.” Hehehehehe… Huwag kayong gree-minded diyan. Siyempre bago matulog, libro ang hawak kaya nabuo ang konseptong ito. At dahil nga sa kababasa, nakakatulugan na nga ang interesanteng binabasa ng adiktus cactus na iyon kaya ganun. Getch?